Garden Touring: Valuable Lessons Learned

I have recently both hosted numerous tours of my gardens AND toured a number of others’ gardens. In the follow-up internal conversations that have ensued, I realized that there are a number of observations I would like to share.

As a visitor to a garden, you can often be as valuable to a garden host-as they are to you. Garden hosts (i.e. the people who have created the garden you are touring) are most often passionate gardeners who are keen to keep learning. They are often extremely busy with their gardens, careers, lives, and not able to keep perfectly au courant with plant introductions, nurseries and other impressive gardens or collections. You would be surprised. Sometimes a very common piece of information to you- can be new and extremely helpful to them. While it surely makes them feel good to hear “What a beautiful garden” for the zillionth time, what might really make them feel good is learning something new that they can use.
Case in point: George Schoelkopf’s garden- Hollister House- in Washington Ct. A well known and well established striking, romantic ‘cottage’ garden, with some unusual plants.When I visited this exceptional garden Saturday, I noticed that George liked to use purple and black foliage plants, and I noticed that he did not grow Anthriscus Ravenwing- so I asked if he knew of it. He did not and was very excited to hear of its deep black ferny foliage and of some of the specialty nurseries IN HIS OWN STATE where he might find it.

The sharing of your observations and feelings can also be valuable for a garden host. Recently, a non-gardener approached me at the end of her thorough investigation of our gardens. She didn’t want to know the names of anything, nor did she want to talk specifics. Instead, she spoke to me about many of the general things that she had observed and particularly appreciated- the use of water, the foliage colors and textures, etc. Well, she just MADE MY DAY!! because she grokked what I was doing. She got it. And she happened to like it. And it sounded like she might use her observations in whatever gardening she might do ‘down the pike.’

I have a kind of unwritten rule for myself, a modus operandi, if you would, that I approach a garden host at, or near, the end of my tour of their garden( and preferably not when they are surrounded by visitors and feeling a bit pressured.) I introduce myself, thank them and ask my questions [yes, they’re like potato chips for me; I cannot eat (ask) just one.]
As I shake their hand, I give a two sentence introduction of myself including my name, where I garden and its zone (unless it’s in the same town), and my particular interests or affiliations that might mean something to the host. In so doing, I figure that , as all that info about THEM- is already known by me- through the literature about them, and the viewing of their garden- I am giving them the opportunity to know “who they are talking to” before I ask questions or engage them further. I usually end up observing/ complimenting something(s) specific, and asking questions about that or something else.
Over the years, I have heard or overheard many garden hosts exclaiming how much they learn from their garden visitors.

SO!.... Talk to your garden host. If they have chosen to actually be present when you tour their garden, and if you will bring yourself out of your reticence- and engage them- even for a few moments- you may be able to give them a ‘ gift ’ of information-either factual or observational - in return for the gifts they have given you. And it’s likely that you’ll both feel better for it.

Best,
Mindy